Recently survived a breakup?
It’s okay. We’re professionals, and we’re here to help you through.
We’re going to take you on a journey from that tear soaked TDK 80s MegaMix tape into the loving embrace of a tasty takeaway.
Check out the 8 stages of surviving a breakup. Just relax, let the food do the loving.
1) Do an awful lot of moaning
Everyone knows that moaning is the way to get over things. It’s natural. We all do it. Chances are your nearest and dearest will want to do the same eventually, so don’t feel bad. Just get your moan-on and let it strop all over anyone you can corner and make them listen to your litany of misery.
2) Listen to Adele’s ‘Someone like you’ over and over again
That’s the sound of a single tear rolling down a cheek. You’ll spend most of this stage in bed, feeling sorry for yourself and wondering ‘why?’.
3) Pull yourself together after the mourning period
You’ve survived Adele – the worst is over. Dry your eyes, and climb out of that pit of sad.
4) Go to JUST EAT and order a massive feast
With all that time spent moping, you’ve neglected to eat anything that isn’t made of bread or yoghurt. Time to properly fix that.
5) Enjoy your delicious and indulgent takeaway
Time heals all wounds. Fried chicken does the same, but much faster and often with fries too. Try and avoid that urge to make a desperate, re-bound advance at the nice delivery driver who brings you your treats. They don’t know what you have been through – you will just freak them out!
6) Laugh at your ex’s lack of feast
Who’s enjoying their takeaway feast right now huh? You!
Who’s probably microwaving a bag of grey, soggy ready-meal mush? Them.
At JUST EAT we are pretty sure that makes you the winner. Reflect on this and feel pleased with yourself and how you are better off with takeaway than ‘them’.
7) Enjoy your Newly Restored Mojo
It’s scientifically impossible to feel down when you’re full of takeaway. Believe us, we’ve tested it. Extensively.
8) Party the Night Away
You’re back. You’ve moved on. And you’ll be doing what you do best: being awesome.
Whatever happens, don’t worry. We’ll always love you.