This week’s review of the week goes Austin and his review of Chicken America Diner & New York Style Pizza in Newbridge Kildare.

“It was six o’clock in the evening and I sat facing the window, poised in an ungraceful slouch. The putrid stench of my mother’s cooking wafted deep into my fluttering nostrils. The humid air turned colder, bringing storm clouds which loomed menacingly on the distant horizon. Above me the angry cawing of the ravens could be heard as they lurched through the air. It was as if mother nature understood the horror which was about to ensue. My mother was making stew.

Feeling overwhelmed with disgust, I made the brave decision to valiantly defile my mother’s authority. I ordered take away through the JUST EAT app. Needless to say, the food arrived within a noble forty minutes. I took the brown paper bag from the delivery man as a globular trickle of sweat cascaded down my forehead.

The sensual odour of fried chicken was overwhelming, captivating and surely my mother could smell it.

I scurried into the kitchen and prepared my dish. First the burger, it was neat and aesthetic yes monstrous indeed. The chicken goujons sat proudly on the edge of my plate, complemented by the thick curry which accompanied their presence. To wash down my mighty feast I chose diet coke as my poison, in an effort to maintain my diet which had been ongoing for some time now.

Each bite was tantalising, each slurp, intense and by the end, all that remained were scraps of what once was a dinner fit for a king. I slouched back in my chair and allowed my stomach to expand and adapt to the horror I had just subjected it to.

Once again I stared out the window, however this time a sublime ray of sunshine could be seen high in the sky penetrating the wispy clouds. A crimson glow hung in the air as a smile curled upon my face. I was a happy man.”


Review your most recent order and you could win dinner on us with a €20 JUST EAT voucher to #ShhhTheHunger. To review, just click here.