Our favourite zombie series, The Walking Dead, has shuffled its way back onto the screens this week and we’d be lying if we said we weren’t just a tad excited. There’s nothing like devouring a takeaway, while watching zombies devour humans, right?
To celebrate, we naturally got thinking about how we’d survive a zombie apocalypse, and we think we’ve nailed it. Check out our takeaway inspired survival guide and start making notes/ordering takeaway.
Step one… Defence
Pizza box barricade
Stop! Don’t throw that pizza box away! Start collecting now, and in the event of a zombie attack, barricade all windows and doors with your recycled boxes. Everyone knows there’s no stronger sealant known to man than leftover melted pizza cheese. Plus, if you’ve got enough boxes, you can fashion yourself some armour.
Step two… Attack
Polish those chopstick skills
You know how you never quite got the hang of using chopsticks? Well they just might come in handy during a zombie apocalypse. It doesn’t matter if you can’t artfully eat your sushi rolls using – you can be a little more inventive when it comes to stopping would-be walkers…
Step three… Hide-out
The news is out, your town is being invaded by zombies and that. What do you do? Get online, order some kebabs (obvs JUST EAT will still be working) and ask for extra pitta breads. Not only will they serve as a tasty snack for the road, if you’re inventive you could fashion them into a sleeping bag/blanket. When a zombie comes wandering, they’ll smell just the tasty pitta, not your tantalising human scent.
Step four… Escape
Delivery scooter getaway
No-one knows how to navigate the city like a heroic takeaway scooter driver. Marvel as it hits almost 25mph while driving through abandoned streets – skillfully swerving your zombie foes, and possibly carrying loads of piping hot pizza too.
Step five… Band together
Ok, so you made it to a safe place, but, trouble is, there’s loads of other humans here too. As we’ve already witnessed in The Walking Dead, this doesn’t tend to end well. But you know what they never have in The Walking Dead? Pizza. The ultimate social leveller. Perfect for a post-apocalyptic pizza party. It’s a no brainer… (sorry, zombies).