Christmas party season: A chance for multiple mini fist pumps, or a minefield of festive faux pas. Use our handy guide to avoid the latter…

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Do
Eat before ‘getting on it’
Yeah, yeah, we would say that. But come 9pm, when you’ve been drinking nothing but your cheapskate boss’s lethal imported vodka, you’ll instantly regret declining the offer of some pre-party pizza when all the loos are engaged.

Don’t
Go near your phone
Bury it in the garden for the night to avoid texting ex partners, tweeting ex partner’s new partners, accidentally ‘liking’ someone’s Facebook status, or all of the above. Although waking up after a party to find you’ve sent no boozy texts is always worth a mini fist pump.

Do
Laugh at your manager’s jokes
They’ll have probably spent weeks and hired comedy consultants to try and perfect a ‘rib-tickling’ end-of-year speech. Not laughing at his/her inappropriate gags is considered gross misconduct in their eyes. Check the small print in your contract.

Don’t
Attempt anything with mistletoe
This isn’t Love Actually, you know, and any attempts at office party flings will only backfire horribly. Plus Carol from HR will be watching you like a hawk after last year’s antics.

Do
Order a festive feast on the way home
Because there’s no better feeling after a night of free drinks than waking up to find you ordered enough takeaway on the way home to last until New Year’s Day. Curry for breakfast anyone? #minifistpump